Apologies for the lack of updates, but we’ve been here (Moab, Utah) at the behest of Nike ACG for the past couple of days. Wi-fi hotspots were a bit thin on the ground, but all weather down jackets were not.      

Despite missing their entire show at the Electric Ballroom due to the lure of ‘one last pint’ redemption was just across the road in the form of a post show, show in some swanky bar. And it went off. Misfits cover versions, party hats and a close to collapse floor were just some of the key elements to one of the best shows we’ve been to in a while. NO AGE RULE.              

Set to be a feature of our website as long as we can be arsed to do it, instead of posting pics from the various free booze events happening in London town we’re getting graphical. First up is Volcom’s store opening which went off without a hitch last Friday.   

We’re not living a Dilbert-like existence at work just yet, but still sometimes some light-hearted Bunny Suicide action is needed to get us through the day. If you don’t own one of Andy Riley’s books yet you should.  

Now that Gordon has decided to make like johnny big balls with that spare £37bn he found down the back of the couch when he was shifting it next door to number 12, we can probably all now relax a little. So to celebrate words like ‘meltdown’, ‘crunch’, ‘collapse’, ‘catastrophe’, ‘crisis’ and ‘black’ (when used in front of a day) now seeing a 200 percent decrease in their usage, here’s a picture of a very content monkey.  It’s a ring-tailed lemur to be exact.  

They’re, somewhat unbelievably, supporting Oasis next week, but you can catch Alberta Cross at Hoxton’s Bar & Grill on Wednesday the 22nd of October if you’re in London and not a fan of the Gallagher brothers. Which we are.  

Usual rules apply, we put a night on with our friends at Slam, you turn up, and we all drink too much. Deal? Wonk Unit and Whiter Teeth Than You will be on stage and Jackson and Hogs will be in the booth from 8 til late. Scrawl Wednesday the 15th of October in permanent marker on the back of your hand now. 

A word of advice, don’t bum rush the stage when the Jay Reatard is on it. Ouch 

This weekend, more specifically the 12th of October 2008, at the Brixton academy is the world B-Boy finals. Like rap battles and any other form of competition there are two teams/crews, and they have to battle each other to decide which one is the best, by using the most impressive display of dancing or words (spitting). The winning crew/team are chosen by the amount of “props” they get from a crowd of peers, the losing team are shamed, then branded on the face, so everyone knows they lost a battle. Pretty savage stuff, so when I heard it was going on in Brixton, I thought to myself “Couchy, you should do an update, because things are going to get serious, they are going to tear down London”…and then the kid from Britain’s Got Talent rang me, and told he was going to piss on Ant & Dec’s shoes – Couch

 This is the ultimate ‘how to’ for those of you with both time on your hands and tons of of Lego bricks knocking about